Eat Lunch With The New Kid
-Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
-You only get one chance to notice a new haircut.
-If you’re staying more than one night, unpack.
-Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly.
-Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first boy/girlfriend.
-Never lie to your doctor.
-All guns are loaded.
-Don’t fill up on bread, no matter how good.
-A handshake beats an autograph.
-Don’t linger in the doorway. In or out.
-If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.
-Never get your hair cut the day of a special event.
-Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth. Always buy good shoes, tires, and sheets.
-Never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it.
-When you’re with new friends, don’t just talk about old friends.
-Eat lunch with the new kid.
-It’s never too late for an apology.
-Don’t pose with booze.
-Never push someone off a dock.
-Under no circumstances should you ask a woman if she’s pregnant.
-It’s not enough to be proud of your ancestry; live up to it.
-Don’t make a scene.
-Make time for your mom on your birthday. It’s her special day, too.
-When opening presents, no one likes a good guesser.
-Sympathy is a crutch, never fake a limp.
-Give credit. Take blame.
-Never be the last one in the pool.
-Don’t stare.
-Address everyone that carries a firearm professionally.
-Stand up to bullies. You’ll only have to do it once.
-If you’ve made your point, stop talking.
-Admit it when you’re wrong.
-If you offer to help don’t quit until the job is done.
-Look people in the eye when you thank them.
-Thank the bus driver.
-Never answer the phone at the dinner table.
-Know at least one good joke.
-Don’t boo. Even the ref is somebody’s son.
-Know how to cook one good meal.
-Learn to drive a stick shift.
-Dance with your mother/father.
-Don’t lose your cool. Especially at work.
-Always thank the host.
-If you don’t understand, ask before it’s too late.
-Know the size of your boy/girlfriend’s clothes.
-Be a good listener. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk.
-Carry your mother’s bags. She carried you for nine months.
-Be patient with airport security. They’re just doing their jobs.
-The opposite sex likes people who shower.
-Learn to change a tire.
-Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them.
-An hour with grandparents is time well spent. Ask for advice when you need it.
-If you have a sister, get to know her boyfriend. Your opinion is important.
-Never call someone before 9am or after 9pm.
-Buy the orange properties in Monopoly.
-Always wear a bra at work.
-You’re never too old to need your mom.
-Ladies, if you make the decision to wear heels on the first date, commit to keeping them on and keeping your trap shut about how much your feet kill.
-Know the words to your national anthem.
-Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun then sitting on the bench alone.
-Smile at strangers.”
M
90 % done :-)))
Tante Diane says: I love these. Thanks!!
The one about dancing with your mum and dad just made me break down and cry…so true